Show me a person who claims to love talking to complete strangers and I’ll show you a liar, a narcissist or Oprah. Maybe all three.
In my job, I do a lot of talking. Some of it is the negotiating, smackdown-giving variety, but mostly it consists of running meetings, making intros, pitching ideas and chatting people up, down and all around. And you know what? It might not be akin to being pandered to by James Lipton, but it’s not really that difficult. Here’s the deal:
Awkward is irrelevant
Nobody notices the weirdness that you think you’re projecting. That’s probably because they’re too worried that they laugh like a donkey when they get nervous. And even if they do notice, they likely don’t care over the course of a five-minute conversation. Being boring and stilted isn’t actually a capital crime.
Make it a game
See if you can make the other person laugh. Count the number of times they blink. Try to guess their age from conversational hints. Don’t tell them that you’re doing these things. Obviously.
Scripts are for suckers
Forget prompts, prepackaged “unique” opening lines or blurting out your elevator pitch in under 15 seconds. Introduce yourself. Respond when the other person does likewise. Unless you’re Zooey Deschanel, if you ask someone you just met what their favorite hiding place was as a child, they will think you’re a crackpot.
Just do it
Quit overanalyzing and second-guessing. Trust yourself. Open your mouth. Words will come out. Form those words into sentences. A lifetime of social conditioning means that what you blurt out will probably be “Hi, my name is _____” and not “I’m wearing green underpants” or “You have a big nose.” Give your brain and mouth a little credit.
